Wild Parents of Noe Valley to Be Filmed on Dolores

By Cherry-Head Sal and Kanary-Wing Karol

Noe Valley filmmaker Frances Ford Fellini, best-known for her daring bird exposé The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, has launched her new project, the long-awaited Wild Parents of Noe Valley.
Fellini is currently scouting locations and has asked neighborhood residents to be on the lookout for the colorful flock. "You can't miss them -- they smoke," said Fellini, taking a drag off her caesar salad with chicken. "They also like Tasty Cakes."
As most Noe Valley residents know, the band has often been seen sitting at their Macintoshes in the palms on Dolores Street or barbecuing suet on the rooftop of Rooftop TV Antenna Repair School on Eureka Street. Occasionally they are spotted flying in a jumbo jet over Noe Valley. Their calls -- "Pretty boy" and "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum" -- are most commonly conducted on cell phones. Some neighbors have complained about their constant chatter, as well as about the rude behavior of their children, frequently observed deseeding the field at Upper Noe Wrecked Center.
Polly Wannacracker, also known as "The Friend of the Parents," has been training and feeding the flock for the past 40 years, mostly in front of SaMore on 24th Street and Hungry Eric's on Church Street. "I coax them out with licorice and action videos," she said.
However, she asked people not to overfeed either the kids or adults, "because they are getting spoiled, and they've forgotten how to shop for food on their own."