Noe Valley Voice April 2000

Voice Sold!

{APUPI) After a long and bloody bidding war among three corporate giants -- AOL, Disney, and Clint Reilly-- the Noe Valley Voice has finally been sold, to the popular Street Sheet. The Street Sheet, the last privately held newspaper in existence, reportedly paid upwards of $400.

To sweeten the deal, the Voice threw in a still-functioning Kaypro computer, three X-acto knives, a box of party supplies, and advertising salesman Steve Steinberg.

Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan responded positively to the news. "This kind of activity will help preserve our prosperity long into the future," he mused, taking a break from digging a concrete shelter in his back yard.

"The new paper will continue to provide the same unbiased coverage we've always given our readers," said Noe Valley Sheet publisher Warren Fang.

Meanwhile, friendly and outgoing Noe Valley Voice editor Sally Smith boarded a plane for Daly City, saying, "Serramonte, here I come!"