Noe Valley Voice April 2000

White Yuppie Tossed Into Traffic

By Hugh Kairs

At 7:30 a.m. on April 1, approximately eight longtime Noe Valley residents witnessed a traumatic episode near the intersection of Clipper and Sanchez streets that culminated in the death of some guy in an SUV.

According to the onlookers, a red Behemoth PX4 was being driven by a man simultaneously talking on his cell phone and getting a pebble out of his shoe. The car rolled through a stop sign and then toppled the steeple at Bethany Church.

A woman, later identified as Rhoda Raige, widow of former alcalde José de Jésus Noe, hauled the driver out of his vehicle and hurled him into the morning commute traffic on Clipper Street.

The SUV, now driverless, continued on its course up Clipper Street towards Twin Peaks. The witnesses said they watched the vehicle until it successfully made a left turn at Diamond Heights Boulevard.

Police who arrived on the scene initially arrested Raige, but released her with a reprimand after hearing her story. City health workers then offered Raige and her fellow witnesses six weeks of counseling so they could begin to process their grief and possibly find closure. So far, none has taken them up on the offer.

In fact, Will Lennium, the oldest one of the group, exclaimed, "You should have seen that cell phone bounce. It must of flown 10 feet straight up in the air!"